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All losses hurt. That's a fact. Even if it's an honourable loss, with much gained, there is still pain because, well - you lost. In my eyes there are four different possible reactions to losing.

1. Indifference - This generally happens when the game played meant little or nothing. These occur usually late in the season when your team is either very good or very bad. Very bad teams that lose will produce indifferent reactions from the fans because they're so used to losing and nothing is at stake except draft picks. Very good teams that lose late in the season when they've already secured their spot on the ladder won't really care as the loss has no grand effect on their season, bar a slight halting of momentum.
Example: Round 21 2004 Port Adelaide 107 Collingwood 70
Collingwood weren't anywhere near the eight, and weren't low enough to be competing for the first draft pick. So in essence, who cares about this match? (From a Collingwood perspective anyway).

2. Reasoning - This occurs chiefly after honourable losses. 'Well you know, Team A was a pretty good team and we gave them a real run for their money. The young guys looked really good too'. These are generally the best type of losses as they produce more positives than negatives, irrespective of the result.
Example: Round 7 2006 West Coast 112 Collingwood 98
In Perth against the Judd-Cousins-Kerr Eagles without Buckley and the Pies pushed the Eagles to the limit. A 14 point loss in Subiaco was nothing to be ashamed of and the positives taken out of this game definitely played some part in the three wins that followed immediately after it.

3. Anger - Probably the most typical response to losing. The team loses and your frustrated with any number of things - bad luck, poor quality of the match, poor quality of play from your own team, losing to a rival, umpiring, etc. Almost always this reaction is produced by your team losing to an inferior team.
Example: Round 17 2008 Essendon 128 Collingwood 80
Unfortunately Collingwood is making a habit to lose to inferior teams, so the response of anger is fairly typical. This match was a killer, up against a mediocre Essendon team with little to play for, and we're considered a top four contender and we get hammered by eight goals. Bad times.

4. ... - 99% of the team you meet losses with indifference, reasoning or anger. But there's a reaction beyond those. A reaction where the pain and realisation of the loss is to much to handle so you just go

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It's a combination of the struggle to accept the loss and the refusal to do so. It's like running down the street turning your head to say hello to someone then running straight into the full brunt of a tree. It's a terrible feeling, and one you'll only feel (hopefully) a handful of times in your life. Here are my experiences of these such moments with Collingwood, in reverse order of devastation;

4. 2003 Grand Final Brisbane 134 Collingwood 84
Generally devastating losses that induce the reaction above come from close games. This was a special exception to the rule. The defeat here was so gratuitous, so destructive that it basically numbed me for four quarters and the rest of the night. The thing of it is that Collingwood never were in this match. And the amazing thing, and the thing that makes the loss so devastating, is that Collingwood were favourites. I'm not sure what's more astounding, the fact Collingwood lost so terribly, or the fact that they were favoured to win.

3. Round 9 2002 Port Adelaide 91 Collingwood 86
How could a regular season game so early in the season possibly hurt more than a Grand Final? A combination of things. For anyone who can't remember, this was the game where Anthony Rocca had a set shot from 45 metres out directly in front virtually on the siren to tie the game in Adelaide. He missed. There were other factors though that attributed to the devastation. Firstly, I actually thought Anthony would make the kick. That was his range. The kick itself wasn't that bad, it was close but it was a clear miss. My hopes were raised when Anthony half-heartedly began to raise his fist, but the goal umpire quickly killed those hopes with the pointing of not two fingers, but one. Secondly, it was so pathetic to hear Eddie Maguire commentating that with four seconds left and Port Adelaide kicking out that Collingwood still had a chance. No Eddie, it's over. But for a second you almost thought it wasn't. After the siren a clash ensued and a Cornes was front and central. For a brief second I considered the possibility of a free kick after the siren to Collingwood. Not to be. Just like everything else in this match.

2. 2002 Grand Final Brisbane 75 Collingwood 66
Why is this one more devastating than the 03 final? Because we came so close. Before the match and at quarter time, even with Collingwood leading and the conditions clearly favouring them I had no real expectation of winning. Even at halftime with the game so tight I never fully believed it was actually possible that Collingwood might win. In the third quarter that changed. When Nathan nailed that goal from outside 50 on the boundary I began to believe. Buckley was playing like a champion, Anthony Rocca was playing the game of his life and so was Josh Fraser. But then Jason Akermanis and Michael Voss combined to put the Magpies to rest. As well as my dreams. I basically put my heart in my mouth that entire second half, and hard Jason Fucking Akermanis stick a bullet in it. Even down by 9 points with less than a minute to go I still thought it was possible. Just get one goal then anything can happen from the centre bounce. We never got that chance.

1. 2007 Preliminary Final Geelong 92 Collingwood 87
No matter how many premierships Collingwood win in my lifetime, be it fifteen or zero, I will never fully recover from this loss. The previous three losses left me devastated, but at least they were honest. In 2003 Brisbane were the better team. In the Port Adelaide game Anthony simply missed. In the 2002 Grand Final Brisbane were just that extra bit too good. This was different though, this match left me feeling cheated. The whole season had a fairytale feel to it. The upcoming youth with Thomas, Pendlebury, Cloke and Shaw and then Clarke. In our heart of hearts we knew this would be Bucks' last go around, and the whole season seemingly built up to his return. When his first kick back was an off-balanced 45 metre perfectly weighted pass that led to a Dale Thomas goal we knew this team was something special. The 2003 Pies might have an argument, but I think you could say confidently this unit was the best team of my lifetime. The surprisingly comfortable win over Sydney and the extraordinary nervous breakdown, I mean football match, against West Coast set the scene for the Geelong game. My mates and I gave Collingwood a 1 in 100 chance.

I doubt I'll ever remember a game as vividly as this one. I'll remember Scott Burns kicking the first goal of the match, setting the tone for the whole night. I'll remember Alan Didak's freak goal in the second quarter to ignite Collingwood and the crowd and get them back in the match. I'll remember Paul Medhurst's goal in the third quarter to give Collingwood the lead and send the Collingwood crowd into a roar that still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. I'll remember Gary Fucking Ablett snapping a goal from 45 metres out (a 45 METRE SNAP!) with Guy Richards making a lackadaisical half-effort to tackle him. I'll remember the seeming eternity it took for the next score after that. And I'll remember the sound of the siren sounding. The siren sounding and the score showing Geelong had more points than Collingwood. I'll remember the complete and total numbness in my body as I simply stood in a crowd of 98, 000 people as though I had the entire stadium to myself. I'll remember standing there replaying in my head when the siren went on the Collingwood 50 metre arc. And I'll remember knowing that all Collingwood needed was five more seconds, one more chance, because I knew that was all we needed to win. But most of all I'll remember seeing Nathan Buckley standing on edge of the MCG grass simply looking up into the sky, soaking up the atmosphere of his final match ever, and at that moment the blankness subsided, albeit temporarily, and the cold reality kicked in - for me and for Bucks, it was over.